Социальные сети

It's Tuesday and it's a meeting for Peters. There, his brain would to be extracted, served and consumed with gusto by parties concerned, his boss LeHare himself having distributed dessert spoons.

- Fellow co-workers, cheerfully starts Mrs. Carrots, - our company is entrusted with a monumental task. It requires drawing several red lines. Are we game?

- Totally! - that's LeHare the Boss. He's always the one to shoulder a burden someone else would be carrying eventually. Immediately, he clarifies, - We can do that, can't we?

Drawing Division Head Ted hastily nods.

- No worries! Peters here is our red line top person. We've expressly invited him to give a qualified opinion.

- Pleased to meet you, - says Carrots. - Now, you all know me. And this is Lena, our design guru. Lena blushes with a pretty bashful smile. She's just graduated in Economics and knows as much about design as a platypus about building blimps.

- Well now, continues Carrots, - we need us seven red lines drawn. All of them completely perpendicular. Also, some should be green and some transparent. Your thoughts. Can do?

- Nope, - chimes Peters.

- Hey, let's not rush things, Peters, - interjects Ted. We've got us a task needs solving. You're a pro and doncha let us think otherwise.

- Now look, - Peters tries to explain, - the term "red line" actually means the line IS red. It's not like it's "impossible" to draw a red line with green, but that's as close as it gets.

- What do you mean "impossible"? - asks Ted.

- I'm just trying to describe the situation accurately. There may be some color blind people for whom color won't matter. The thing is, I'm not sure our target audience is predominantly these people.

- Then, it's possible in theory, isn't it? Do I get it right? - asks Carrots.
Peters realizes he went too far with his metaphors.

- In plain talk, - he says, - a line as such could be drawn in any color. But one needs red to make a red one.

- Peters, please don't confuse things any further. You've just said it was possible.

Peters silently curses his tongue.

- No, don't get me wrong. I just want to say that in some extremely rare cases the color may not matter. But even then a green line wouldn't be red. It would be green. And you say it's gotta be a red one.

A short silence ensues during which one can distinctly hear brain cells humming.

- And what if, - LeHare is having an inspiration, - what if we use BLUE?

- No can do, - Peters shakes his head. The blue gets you blue lines.

A new silence, this time broken by Peters himself.

- And the other thing... What do you mean by "transparent" color?
Carrots eyes him with pity, the way a school teacher may look at a moron kid.

- How should I put that?...Peters, don't you know what "transparent" is?

- I do.

- And "red line", do you need that explained as well?

- No, I don't.

- There! Just draw us some transparent red lines!

Peters ponders his predicament.

- And could you please describe what the end result should look like? How do you see it?

- Now, Peters...- goes Ted. - Let's not go down this road. Don't be childish! Who's the top red line guy, you or Carrots?

- I'm just trying to understand...

-What is there to "understand"? - pipes in LeHare. You, of all people, should know what a red line is, shouldn't you?

- Yes, but...

- And "transparent", you know what "transparent" is?

- Of course, but...

- So, what do you need explained to you, Peters? Let's not get into an argument, that's unproductive. The task is as clear as a day. But if you've got specific questions, shoot!

- You're a pro, after all, - adds Ted.

- Alright, - gives in Peters. - Forget the color. But there's that perpendicularity requirement.

- Yes, affirms Carrots readily. - Seven lines, all perpendicular.

- Perpendicular to what? - Peters asks.

Carrots shuffles her papers.

- Er..- she finally manages - Like to...er..everything. Between themselves. Or whatever...dunno. I thought YOU'd know what kind of perpendicular lines those are, - she retorts.

- Of course he knows! - Ted waves his arms. - Aren't we all pros here?

- Only two lines can be perpendicular, - patiently explains Peters. - Seven lines can't be perpendicular to each other. That's a 6th grade geometry stuff.

Carrots shudders, chasing away the ghosts of the long-forgotten school education. LeHare gives the table top a slap.

- Peters, we can sure do without these "6th grade"remarks, can't we? Let's keep it polite and respectful. No jibes, please.

- Exactly my point, - adds Ted.

Peters takes a sheet of paper.

- OK, let me show you. Here's a line, right?

Carrots nods her agreement.

- Heres' another one, - continues Peters. - Now, is it perpendicular to the first one?

- Well...

- Yeah, it is.

- There we go! - happily exclaims Carrots.

- Hey, hang on a sec, we're not done yet. Here's the third one...Is it perpendicular to the first line?

A thoughtful silence. Impatiently, Peters answers himself:
- Yes, it is. But it doesn't intersect with the other one, In fact, both those lines are parallel.

More silence. Carrots hesitantly leaves her chair, moves around the table and ends up looking over Peter's shoulder.

- Well...- she begins, not quite sure of herself, - if you say so...

- That's the whole point! - exclaims Peters, trying to consolidate his victory.- While there are only two lines, they can be perpendicular to each other. But if one adds more...

- May I? - Carrots asks.

Peters reliquishes the the pen. Carrots cautiously draws several shaky lines.

- How about that?

Peters sighs.

- It is called a "triangle". And no, they aren't perpendicular. And there are only three of them, not seven, by the way.

Carrots bites her lip.

- So, why are they blue? - suddenly asks LeHare.

- Yeah, meant to ask that, too! - Ted joins him.

Peters blinks several times, contemplating the sketch.

The ink is sure blue,- he admits. - But that's just for the demo....

Hey, maybe that's the problem! - LeHare cuts in impatiently, like someone who's just figured it all out and is eager to share before it all goes away. - Your lines are blue. Let's try some red and see what happens!

- Nothing gives, - Peters replies confidently.

- Why so sure?, - that's Ted. - You haven't even tried! Try some red and you'll see!

- Sorry, I don't have a red ink pen with me, - confesses Peters, - but lemme me tell you...

- You aren't ready, - chides him Ted. - And you knew there was a meeting, didncha?

- Let me assure you, - Peters is desperate - making it red won't change a thing!

- Wasn't it you who just said that red lines ought to be drawn in red? - presses Ted, - I even wrote this down! And now you draw us blue ones. Or maybe they look red to you?

- Right on! -pipes in LeHare. - Remember, I asked if you could make them blue and what did you say?

Unexpectedly, it's Lena who saves Peters. She thoughtfully studies the sketch from where she sits.

- I think I get it, - she says. It's not the color you're talking about, right? It's about watchamaycallit? Per-per-ridiculous-something-or-other?

- Yes! Perpendicularity, - gratefully replies Peters,- is not related to color.

- There it is. You've lost me guys, - says LeHare, eyeballing attendees one by one.- What is it needs solving, color or perpendicularity?

Carrots makes strange noises, shaking her head. She's lost, too.

- Both, - almost wispers Peters.

- This is beyond me, - starts LeHare studying his locked fingers. - Here's the task. Just seven little red lines. I'd understand if it were twenty.... But seven... It's as simple as that: our client wants seven perpendicular lines. Correct?

Carrots nods.

- And Ted here sees no problem with that either, - continues LeHare,- am I right, Ted? There we go! So, what's the snag?

- Geometry, - exhales Peters.

- Then just ignore it! - blurts out Carrots.

Peters tries to gather his wits. His brain is swarming with dazzling lines that should reveal the absurdity of the situation to all present. Unfortunately, each of them invariably begins with an expletive and that absolutely won't do in a business meeting.

Tired of waiting, LeHare utters, - Peters, in plain English, can you do it or not? I understand that yours is a specific stuff and you may not be getting the whole picture... But drawing seven measly lines - how difficult does it get?!!! We've been at it for two hours straight and still have no solution.

-Yeah, - says Ted. - It's easy to critisize -"Impossible! Impossible!" Any fool - if you forgive me my French - can do that. Why doncha try proposing something, for a change? After all, you a pro or what?

Wearily, Peters assents, - OK. You'll have two red lines perpendicular to each other, guaranteed. The rest will be transparent. I mean, the lines. You won't see them, but they will be there. Deal?

- Deal? - Carrots turns to Lena. - Yeah, that would work just fine.

- And please make at least two lines green, - hastily adds Lena. - And I've a small favor to ask, may I?

- Fire away, - allows Peters in a dead voice.

- Could you please make one in the shape of a kitten?

- Huh???!

- A kitten, y'know. Customers LOVE 'em!!!


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